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ateolfmy friend Jenna died within the past day or so...right now i don't know exactly what happened...she was in a car, in Kentucky, near Cincinatti...i believe...i heard something about it possibly being heart-related, but what i've heard concerning that is fuzzy and i don't quite have a grasp on any of those details...my information's all 4th generation anyway...but i have sort of a weird conflict of emotions...for the most part it hasn't really hit me too hard...i haven't really even seen her in months, the better part of a year...and even then it was a few isolated incidents...the times i've seen her since she moved back from Wisconsin have been very few...which is sad, in itself...but now she's dead...and that feeling of recognition of this fact has been coming on and off since i heard about it tonight...and as i'm typing this and thinking about it, it's hitting me again...i started thinking about her and all this while typing and it all started to hit me the hardest since i'd heard the news...i don't know exactly what i want to say here...there's not much more i can say about the actual facts...it all comes to my emotions at this point and i'm not exactly sure what to make of them...i keep thinking about her more and more and it becomes more real...but i can easily go back to distancing myself from it all...it's really been so long since i've spent any time with her...i feel the need to say more, but i don't think i'm capable of it without repeating myself endlessly...i know i miss her terribly right now, but it's simply a weird thing missing someone you haven't seen much of in the past two years...it's been making me think a lot about James Bunn (which right now still haunts me even more...), i think i want to do a post about him at some point in the near future...that's a part of my life pre-dating the journal so it's never been mentioned here...i guess i'm finished talking about this for now, lest i tarnish her memory with redudant, banal drivel...or something like that...i don't know, anyway, i'm done here...
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I hope my use of humor-as-defense-mechanism isn't offensive to anyone. Sometimes laughter and tears seem to belong hand-in-hand . . .
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Date: 2003-05-18 02:37 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2003-05-18 02:44 am (UTC)I'm going to try and get some sleep so I can make it to practice at 2. I'm hoping you'll do the same and get some rest. the worse may be yet to come.
Some things to know.
Date: 2003-05-18 07:07 am (UTC)She died a happy woman.
She had been having a really hard time with a lot of things and was depressed for a while now. We had known each other for over a year and a half and had fallen in love. She came to Ohio Wednesday to visit and to move in some things because she was going to come live with me in August.
She told me she was going to call me an hour after she left. I got no call though. After frantically calling her cell phone many times, a hospital worker eventually answered.
She was happy when she was here. She was smiling and laughing constantly. I could truly feel her love.
She wrote me a small note when I was away taking a shower.
"You are my dream man. This has been the best 3 days of my life. I will love you FOREVER. Love, Jenna"
I know you were a friend of hers and I just wanted to let you know that the last days of her life were filled with happiness and hope, and that is how she left this world.
She will be truly missed.
Re: Some things to know.
Date: 2003-05-18 04:13 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2003-05-23 02:01 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2003-05-23 03:49 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2003-05-23 04:01 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2003-05-23 08:07 pm (UTC)