pathetic: inside and out

[ateolf]

another day of working...i had to go in at the ungodly hour of 4pm...though before i left, i stuck the giant Onion sticker on my car...phattt fucking action...work really sucked...i really hate Barbara (one of the managers...the current incompetent one...i'm gonna fucking go insane monday...for some reason she's the closing manager (she usually works durring the day) and i'm closing as well...i almost wanted to kill her tonight...) after work i went over to Brad's...then Chris called...we went and picked him up and the night pretty much turned into taxying Chris around...first we went to The North End 'cuz he could get free beer from Sean there...that was pretty sucky...then we went to The Map Room 'cuz his girlfriend or whatever she is was working and he needed to talk to her or some shit...Brad and i were sitting at this table and this really cute girl walked up asking me if i had been in her number theory class...i didn't see her at first but after she came up i recognized her...i mumbled a few things to her, but pretty much blew the whole talking to her thing really...like, she asked if i was still in school and i mumbled some stuff about taking my last class and didn't even return the question to her...oh well, i'm an idiot...she sat down at the table w/ the guy/girl she was with (i'm really not sure which...at first i thought it was a guy but then it came into question that it could be a girl...not that it matters or anything...) sitting around there for a while listening to bad music (w/ the exception of "No Surprises" by Radiohead...) as we were leaving i was going to say something to her, uh, goodbye i guess...i kind've waved and tried to say something but she was turned around...not quite sure whether she just didn't see me leaving or was ignoring me...she was talking to the other person...after a couple seconds i just walked out the door...i am a fucking retard...i should just learn my lesson and go out of my way to avoid girls...the results would be the same and at least in that context i'd be accomplishing something...next it was back to The fucking North End so they could score some coke...and to top it all they decided they'd have to talk in some sort of fucking code around me like i wouldn't know what was going on or something...bah...i dropped them back off at Brad's and now i'm home...a totally thrilling evening...

Comments

[antihat.livejournal.com]

just out of curiousity, what kind of code?

[ateolf.livejournal.com]

nothing elaborate or sophisticated...just stuff along the lines of "when we get there, if that thing is happening then we'll do that other thing..." and Brad trying to pretend he's talking about looking for chicks...a real pathetic one was when we got there and he didn't see Franklin's car he said "it doesn't look like any of these cars...belong to cute indie girls w/ indie stickers on them...blah blah blah..." pretty pathetic...if i hadn't just been put into a really low mood after my fumbling attempt at talking to that girl i might've told 'em off or something...i dunno...

[antihat.livejournal.com]

If I were you I would've dropped them off at the north end and told them if they wanted coke to find they're own damn ride.
I know I've made some stupid mistakes in the past,and in some way I have the right to tell them how stupid that shit is. Fuck Cocaine!!!

[ateolf.livejournal.com]

i should have...or just dropped them off at their perspective homes...some sort of thought along those lines entered my head...but mere minutes before i hit a big depressed slump and turned into a moping entity that wasn't anything but there...and sometimes Brad has this weird thing of acting like i'm his dad or some shit...and my little mope-fest put me in sort of a 'it's your life if you wanna be stupid and fuck anything up it's your problem' mood...maybe i just didn't feel like dealing w/ it...but of all the ppl i know, Brad is the one i feel should be around anything like coke the least...i don't wanna act like a fucking dad or whatever but he is my friend and i really don't want him starting to turn to coke like he does w/ alcohol...blah...i should have just said "no" when Brad first said "do you think you can stomach hanging out w/ Chris for one night?" before we ever left...when it's been so long you tend to lose contact w/ that impulse telling you how much you really can't stand someone...