Goodbye, Meow Man

Got up early and Mary Beth and I took Horace to the vet. I told the receptionist what had happened and she went back to get a vet tech. The tech who came out is the one who's almost always the one there doing stuff for me (I think her name is Shelby) and as soon as she saw it was me her face turned, a sad face, knowing it was Horace. They gave me the information for the company that actually does the disposal/cremation, they'll keep him there until they pick him up but I'll just deal directly with that service since the vet won't be doing anything. I haven't called yet. Thought I might at work, but I guess it might have set me off. Ended up being busy anyway, I guess that's good to keep distracted. Some production issue I kept getting roped into (though it wasn't on the jboss end, I did have to get someone to turn something off as that would help fix what was wrong on their end). Last night I cried excessively. It wasn't all at once, it would come and go, but at one point my face started to hurt really bad. My jaw was sore and it felt like my skull was going to explode from my face. I also felt on the verge of vomiting. I felt like it came close, but I wasn't actually able to do it. I didn't feel better until I fell asleep. Now I feel like I have to weirdly hold back my emotions. Maybe since it's not as close it won't be as bad.