some more

[ateolf]

i was thinking about it and some more occured to me...it was on Keith's suggestion that i decided to talk to her about how i feel...i had thought about it many times but it was from talking to Keith that got me going on it...and now i see just how fucking sneaky he was being...he just wanted my rejection out in the open so then everything would be "okay" for him...i thought he geniunely was trying to help me...i knew he liked Kerry but i thought he sees my suffering and considered our friendship important...i think about when i was up all night talking to him, pouring my fucking heart out about her and he just twisted it all around for his own advantage...he truly stabbed me in the fucking back and i have never been more betrayed or hurt by anyone in my fucking life...something else...when i'd talk to him and he'd "console" me he'd say "dude, it's just that nobody in the peer group can have her, that's just the way she is..." or something...strange that whenever he was around her he'd always play it up that he's not in the peer group...that he's just Keith, lone rebel or whatever...funny, 'cuz WE always considered him a part of the peer group...but i guess it's pretty obvious that his priorities lay elsewhere..."player" first, friend whenever it's convenient...