Beyond Balderdash

[ateolf]

i showed up in the middle of this game and never really actually played, but at a point i jumped in and filled out cards too...however, for your pleasure, i will make up answers for the ones i wasn't there for right here and now...i'll make a big line once the point arrives in which i was actually there for it...

movie: Eat the Peach
real: 2 unemployed Irishmen are inspired by an Elvis Presley movie to build a wall of death & ride their motorcyles to fame & fortune
Jacques: The heartwarming tale of a dog, a squid, and a rhino making an 'incredible journey' to an Allman Brothers concert, and the greased beastiality that ensues.
Keith: Problems arise in the spike household as mike spike leaves on his search for the perfect peach-He meets Kerry "Perfect Peach" adds a little ice cream & eats for weeks, until Mrs. Spike finds out. Uh-Oh!!
Paul: farcical tale of a single woman seeking romance in the workplace
Justin: An Idaho farmboy goes to the big city and tastes the juicier pleasures of life
Adam: A lonely drifter finds love & hope after the wife of a tragically slain peach farmer saves his life.
me: An entreprenuer opens a popular bar called The Man Hole but trouble ensues when the Korean mafia sees business to their own bar The Golden Peach of Asia being lost to the competition. Loads of nunchucks and ass-fisting!

movie: Wacko
real: Comedy story about the infamous Lawnmower Killer and the cop who tries to nab him
Jacques: After giving himself severe abrasions during a failed attempt at starting a friction fire, Carrot Top tries to find ointment in an uncaring world.
Keith: After being kicked out of Animaniacs by Yacko & Dot. Wacko goes on an adventure of a life time
Paul: comedic whimsy involving a brother who accidentally rapes his sister when she is commited to the nuthouse where he works
Adam: A crazed hippie with lime disease wreak havoc on the unsuspecting members of his free love commune.
Kerry: The sad biography of the oldest Marx brother who was ostracized from fame by his overpowering stench
me: Sex, drugs, and child molestation follow a couple of zany college kids across the country in this lighthearted coming-of-age spring-break road-trip classic.

initials: W.G.C.L.
real: window glass cutters league of america
Jacques: Wet Gash Cuttin' Loooooose!
Keith: West Gorgia Clit Lickers
Justin: Westchester Greasy Clam Lappers
Adam: Women's Government Commoration League
Kerry: Women Giving Cock Licks
me: Wild Girls Cream for Lepers

word: banderilla
real: Decorated spear stuck in the side of a bull during a bull fight
Keith: A Quesadilla like dish consisting of slaughtered members of awful bands that have played Mexico City.
Paul: ceremonial headress worn by semen tribal leaders
Justin: A form of bandana popularly used by expectant Mexican mothers. These are placed in utero around the forehead of their greaser fetuses
Adam: quasi vocal primates that have learned to play instruments. the most famous is gene simmons
Kerry: a small brimmed hat usually worn by show animals
me: the Italian word that expresses a wish to rape one's neighbor's livestock

movie: In N Out
real: A down on his luck American travelr to Mexico looking for his inheritance
Keith: Some Dude says a teacher is gay & the supposed gay dude catches hell for it
Paul: Zany antics ensue when a down-on-his-luck salesman inherits a revolving door factory
Justin: Johnny Slytt stars in this spaghetti western where 12 cowboy hole up in a cave after slaughtering a convenience store worker in a beef jerky robbery.
Adam: A catholic priest falsly accused of molestation comes to grips with his homosexuality in prison
Kerry: A man puts it in his gym teacher, then denies it. With hilarious results!
me: There's so much gay sex in this movie that I've always been finished before the first scene's over! I don't think it has a plot anyway.

word: dungarunga
real: A small Australian hardwood tree.
Jacques: A musica instrument, Australian in origin, that is played by blowing through the urethra.
Paul: sheepskin chaps designed for casual wear
Justin: aboriginal australian word for downforce
Adam: A crude aboriginal woodwind instrument played by vibrating air through a hollow branch
Kerry: a remote African tribe noted for polygamy
me: the first name used by Australian supergroup Banarama. . . It was fabricated by the band because it sounded "cool." It does relate to their early practice of setting their shit on fire while playing shows.

word: pogonotomy
real: a beard-growing competition
Jacques: Along with Vibe-ology, this is one of the twin pillars of modern dance theory.
Keith: The study of Sid Vicious and all of his amazing contributions to society
Paul: the study of dating among amputees
Justin: The study of the mechanics and theory behind piston fucking 4 year old Filipino children
Kerry: the study of elasticity
me: a surgical procedure in which a doctor sedates the patient and proceeds to fuck their unconscious anus 'til the cows come home
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movie: Teddy at the Throttle
real: Silent movie featuring "Teddy the Wonderdog" who rescues a damsel in distress from a speeding locamotive.
Jacques: Controversial Roosevelt biopic, which graphically displayed his fondness for autoerotic strangulation
Paul: it's love in the fast lane when 2 college students start a club for hermaphrodite race car drivers
Justin: Teddy Roosevelt bio-porn famed for featuring more gallons of ropey horse jism than any other historical narrative in the history of Hollywood
**this was my first go in the game...it started when Adam sacraficed his turn for me, so he doesn't have one here...the rest of the time i just made up stuff in spite of my not really playing**
Kerry: A lingerie shop owner and a racecar driver fall in love waiting in line for the Santa Claus display at the mall
me: Russ Meyer's lesser known biker flick featuring a renegade greaser giving a boy scout troop lost in the wilderness a rough lesson on the origins of buttfuck bonanza!

movie: In the Land of the Owl Turds
real: The strange story of a strange guy who drives around w/ doo-doo in his truck trying to pick up girls
Jacques: This Isn't a real movie. Kerry made it up, the cunt.
Keith: Two adolescents find a portal which leads to a world full of well endowed homosexual birds who force the boys to shove branches in their owl asses.
Paul: on a distant shore, rival tribes fight for the ownership of doo doo house, the fecally based theme park where man meets machine in the battle for crappy dominance of shit or something
Justin: Film adaptation of a lesser known Maya Angelou work about her childhood as a young black girl who daydreamed of spooning rancid shit into the mouth of whitey
Adam: Two retarded children are magically transported to Owl Land where the Emperor of Owls instructs them in the ancient rituals of equine owl sodomy
me: Ironically, a film that has nothing to do with either owls or turds, but focuses on a derranged accountant's obsession with jacking off in telephone booths while shoving rolls of quarters up his ass. Oh yea, and he lets little girls shit in his mouth so it does have a little to do with turds.

date: May 26, 1977
real: A man was arrested for climbing the world trade center
Jacques: Gary Glitter gets his first delicious taste of nubile toddler-tang
Keith: Elvis presley is rushed to the hospital after his bowels tried to push a turd the size of his head out of his rectum
Paul: acqurie immune deficeincy syndrome is first disclosed to the public after 200 homosexual men both produce AND consume ovver eleventy million gallons of love juice when eating ham sandwhiches from the balls of aborted fetuses
Adam: Angry at his lover's suggestion that he shave his balls, Liberace shoves a 12 inch pewter candelabra up his ass and has a spiritual experience in which he sees God himself. God tells him to slaughter AIDS babies.
Kerry: The day my mom was born
me: While recording the classic album Lust for Life in Berlin, David Bowie has his testicles surgically replaed with swedish meatballs in a wacky prank that leaves Iggy's face red for weeks.

movie: Dirty Little Billy
real: western movie about the life of Billy the Kid
Jacques: Impromptu jello wrestling tournament pitting Burroughs and Ginsberg against Norman Mailer and Ken Kesey, all the luscious details being captured live on video. Music by Faster Pussycat
Keith: A cumming of Age story of a third grader who gets his kicks from shoving his mothers dildo into his classmates Hoo Has.
Justin: Billy, a child slut who first whored himself when his umbilical cord gave him candy in exchange for a lengthy stroke & tug, is whisked away from his preschool by a wealthy old flamer who takes him on an around the world cruise where he learns manners, class, and life lessons both in and out of diapers
Adam: A mildly retarded todler is tried as an adult after brutally raping the corpse of his dead grandmother. He is sentenced to 35 years in prison, and after one week he stabs his cell mate with a shiv made out of feces and rubix cube. Then he kills a bunch of AIDS babies and rapes a snow seal.
Kerry: A boy spies on his older next door neighbor, only to get dragged into a web of deceit, drugs, sex, fags, fast cars, hot action, big boobs, grease, midgets, virgins, Halloween, the Mafia, runaways and Guitar Wolf.
me: Having seen this classic genre-defining masterpiece hundreds of times, I can safely say that this pedo-incest gem features a father raping his 8-year old son 'til he's practically swimming on his lap in the blood. In the final climactic scene, the father apologizes and has his child sodomize him repeatedly with a rake.

word: hylomania
real: The abnormal love of wood
Jacques: Similar to Beatlemania, this seething, foaming-at-the-mouth frenzy often occurs after a man's anal hymen is savagely ripped apart.
Keith: A mental disorder in which males masturbate till they bleed, and then shove blow darts into their pee holes, while begging for forgiveness from the Cow God.
Paul: disorder concerning the compulsion to save one's bodily waste for possible future consumption
Justin: This is the magickal name of the snake which Jim Morrison rode majestically. The snake was fueled by spite and christian blood. Judging from Morrissons behavior and lyrics, apparently Mr. Mojo Risin rode the snake repeatedly into solid granite walls.
Kerry: the fascination with the thrilling rollercoaster of thrills we all call "Robert's Room"
me: I don't know what this word means, but I sure do feel like diggin' up some corpses and a bottle of KY right about now! Oh, wait! Does it have anything to do with those bumps on my rectum?

movie: Ladies Who Do
real: A bunch of office cleaning women get rich when they find some stock tips in a garbage can.
Keith: A movie set at Memphis' own "The Flying Saucer". This is a tale of a young man's quest to anally rape every waitress and barback.
Paul: bette midler flick where welfare mother's fight an unjust landlord. not to be confused with its 1982 counterpart where the ladies in question contract AIDS when getting impregnated and thrust pygmies headfirst up to their chests in their virginias so they will chew the diseased beings to shreds like cotton candy
Justin: [drawing of a penis] + [female symbol] + [drawing of a head w/ long, curly hair and wide-open mouth] + [drawing of a brick] + [drawing of head w/ "baby" written underneath] + female genital mutilation = my man eggs hatching on the bed spread
Adam: A paraplegic woman with down-syndrome & a penchant for dipping her nipples in shit makes sweet cripple love to a baby snow seal tragically born with AIDS. Both their lives are changed drastically.
Kerry: A leper goes to Prague to meet a rogue doctor who claims that immersing his rotting limbs in her grease trap will restore his flesh and Christian faith.
me: I sure haven't met any! That's why I make 'em! Fuck you bitches! You're gonna like it! I'll kill your children if you tell the cops!