"Pulling In, out of Reaction"

[ateolf]

not much to report...i slept in a whole hour for FedEx work today...they don't care...work was slow 'til towards the end anyhoo...the puppies rule...although that area of the house is starting to get stinky...and i'm on my parents' computer now 'cuz the wires to the phone jack where my computer is somehow broke and i can't get online from my computer for the time being...i wrote these lyrics last night...there's no music for them though i kind've have an idea in my head...i might need to smooth out the rhythm, but that'll come along when it has music to be contrasted against...i'm almost reluctant to post them...but here i go:

Take these words from me
I can't even use them anyway
Autonomy fueled by incapability
I will stay inert if you don't push me
You smile and I stare
I'm worthless this way, it's all in delivery
You're there, I'm here
I've fenced myself in me like a fucking dog

All of my friends are mocking me
In the other room or with subtle words
Playing along with my own stupidity
I'll never catch on, I'm too fucking slow
If you were a book I could read you
And feign understanding in the end, eventually
But I dont try, I just sit
An empty façade built so thick

indecision, derision, derision, derision

I never want to talk to you
It just goes against who I am
I wish there was some other way
I never like the words I come up with
I can't act, I can't act
I can't act, I am not a lie
All this time and I don't even know you
I need more, the face is the first thing to rot

hopefully soon i'll get to my models of comp homework due tuesday...hopefully i'll be able to figure out what the hell it's all about...