Trudy...

[ateolf]

We said goodbye to Trudy yesterday. Dr. Williams called in the afternoon with the update that, though she had perked up and was alert and eating and behaving well, she still couldn't stand or walk and the treatment hadn't improved that part of her condition. So basically, it was probably a brain tumor and the only things that could be done would not be good for Trudy. So we came up there to say goodbye. That part of it was better than I might have imagined. They brought her into the room all bundled like a little baby. They left us with her to spend as much time as we needed. So we got to pet her and comfort her and hug her and feed her. Mary Beth even brought her frosting so she got to eat that and it was funny and I even laughed 'cuz she made a mess splashing it around with her vigorous licking. Being with like that felt natural and good and was really a quality time. She was alert and present so she really got to experience it and feel like she was with us. So that was really about as good as it could be. I thought that part would be hard and fraught, but it was really a briefly joyful time. (All the other moments have been pretty fraught, but I'm thankful we got to have that last one together.) Then when it was time, I don't know, it's weird how quick it all is. But we took her body home and buried her in the front garden bed (where there's not much of a garden except mud and weeds). I had to go to Home Depot and get a shovel, but I dug I nice deep hole. Maybe three feet, at least two and a half. It was luck with the weather as there were big rain storms both a good bit before and after. So we had a nice window at the right time. Mary Beth read a piece from Archy and Mehitabel. And now here we are, in a house without Trudy or any cat. It had been surreal and it's really surreal knowing she's gone. I feel so lucky to have grown so much closer to her in recent years. I know being home all the time since covid deepened our relationship. And all of the rituals that she built just for me. The wet pets (that goes back to pre-covid, but definitely was a very solid bonding time, every morning after I get out of the shower), the lunchtime (and usually evening) reading sessions in bed where she's sit on my legs and come yell for me to hurry up and get there while I was still eating lunch, because she couldn't wait. So all these common daily activities, showering, eating lunch, are inextricably tied to her and her personality. It's good that I'll never be able to forget her and how wonderful she was. I still think about Horace all the time and I know she's a permanent fixture in my heart. I know there's so much more I could say. I'm just, I'll leave it here for now.