ateolf | NEW STATE SLOGANS....

(sort've stolen from his journal...except i changed everything and made it "funnier"...)

Alabama: there's a lot of fucking rednecks here!
Alaska: it's really fucking cold, you stupid cocksucker!
Arizona: fuck you!
California: an earthquake really should flatten our cities and separate us from the rest of the continent and then we could sink!
Colorado: a shithole with mountains!
Connecticut: suck my cock, asshole!
Delaware: a great place to live!
Florida: it's like going to hell!
Georgia: the South will rise and rip your heart out of your chest...and eat it too!
Hawaii: like every other shitty state except it's harder to leave...'cuz it's a fucking island!
Idaho: get away, you motherfucking fuck!
Illinois: where Abraham Lincoln killed all those Jews!
Indiana: "indian" with an "a" on the end!
Iowa: give me Iowa or go fuck yourself in the ass!
Kansas: some stupid people live here!
Kentucky: like the South withouth being very south...how fucking stupid!
Louisiana: it would be stupid if you lived here and your name was Louis!
Maine: your MAIN state!
Maryland: what shit!
Massachusetts: where slavery is still king!
Michigan: the glove state!
Minnesota: i don't even know where the hell this state is!
Mississippi: if you like sewage, you'll love this festering pit of disease and filth!
Missouri: it sounds like "misery" for a fucking reason, dumbass!
Montana: our capital is Helena!
Nebraska: where homosexuality is less a sin than other places! though it's still a sin!
Nevada: Whores and Poker! (i hadda keep this one...)
New Hampshire: you're the biggest fucking idiot i've seen in my whole fucking life!
New Jersey: worse than the original Jersey, and that's one of the shittiest pieces of vomit on the face of this hellish planet!
New Mexico: Mexican diarrhea without the Mexico!
New York: 'ay!
North Carolina: don't let thet "north" fool you, we hate blacks too!
North Dakota: you're joking, right!?
Ohio: the name says it all!
Oklahoma: Okla-stupid!
Oregon: a bunch of fucking trees and hippies!
Pennsylvania: birthplace of The Dead Milkmen!
Rhode Island: worst name ever!
South Carolina: shut the fuck up!
South Dakota: don't let the "south" fool you, we hate turks!
Tennessee: Tenneseein' is Tennbelievin' (i hadta steal that from The Simpsons)
Texas: kill yourself, now! (alternate slogan: the reason that the president's dead, you gotta suck suck Jackie suck!)
Utah: bow to the Grand Mormono!
Vermont: a smaller suicide rate than Delaware, but Delaware has a really huge fucking suicide rate so i guess that's not really saying much, is it!?
Virginia: we're just gonna steal New Jersey's slogan!
Washington: named after that guy!
Washington, D.C.: we're not really a STATE, there're only 50 states, fuck you!
West Virginia: hey, David, they said it!!!
Wisconsin: why not just defecate all over yourself? it'd save you the trip!
Wyoming: leave Satan alone, you hypocritical bastards, he never did anything to YOU!