ateolf | shite

i'll start w/ what's foremost on my mind: my grandmother has stage 4 lung cancer...very bad...i found this out early this evening...
now the other crap that's not of much interest even to myself: did some errands for my mom after i woke up mid-afternoon...i thought it was thursday for some reason so i arranged to pick Jacques up from work thinking we had the writers thing...but i had the day wrong but picked him up anyways...this is evening a few hours after i found out the news...volunteering to pick him up a few hours before hearing the news...i stayed at The Apartment a while...Jacques is considering being a complete idiot and moving in w/ Amber when she moves back in town...Justin came over and we (him, i, Paul, and David) went out...Jacques stayed in as he had to spend another evening of hours on the phone w/ her...(as he would do w/ that Kristin chick who he's now blown off, moving back to the old familiar territory of Amber who weeks ago he wished would quit "annoy"ing him and whatnot...blahblahblah...yay completely stupid fucking codependency issues...) (please excuse my venting bitchiness...) message for everyone who read(s) his journal: he's not abandoning it, when he gets computer access again or whatever he'll get back to it...though he wants me to delete it currently so he can go back and edit all the bad stuff he's said about Amber out so she'll never find out...great solid honesty for moving in w/ somebody...bah...i'm sorry but lying and going back on onesself so often fucking bothers me...but anyhow, moving away from crap that doesn't even concern me in the slightest and back to crap that somewhat has something to do w/ me: we first went to the Pinch district 'cuz Justin thought it was ladies' night, but he was wrong so we went to R. P. Tracks...sitting around there happened, Paul met (i'll be damned if i can't remember his real name and not just his old bbs handle: Zaphod...i'm pathetic that way...) Paul and him went back to The Apartment 'cuz they're broke and we went to the Blue Monkey briefly...Justin met this chick he knows who (even he agrees) is completely annoying...mostly, i find, due to her disgusting personality...very "rich bitch" or whatnot...David was hungry and their kitchen was closed so, after not too long, we went to Hueys...we ate...back to The Apartment...Paul and "Zaphod" (wait! i think his name's David McMillan...i'm pretty sure about the last name, a bit sketchy on the first name though...David, if you're reading this you can tell me his name and make me feel like less an idiot or something...i dunno...) Justin left shortly and Chris showed up...oh yeah, Jacques was locked away in his room on the phone w/ Amber, of course...My Neighbor Totoro was on...i had never seen it even though it's been at The Apartment as long as i can remember and i guess i saw the last half...it was pretty rad...most of the evening i was pretty silent...just feeling really bad...and not able to talk about it yet...though i guess now David's the only one who might read this...well, now you know or something...i guess i'll attempt going to sleep soon...and inevitably cry some, i guess...i don't know if i can sleep now or not...maybe i'll end up writing or something...but i'd doubt it...it feels like what little social world i have is soon going to fall apart...