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"The Slow and Subtle Movements of a Stump" cont'd. (read last entry first if you haven't done so...)
I read a lot too. I have my "help" (that makes me feel very aristocratic, I guess I am a masochist's billionaire) copy the pages of the books that I want to read onto disc and I go through them on the computer screen. Sometimes I feel as though everyone's going through too much trouble for me, but the reading helps keep me sane. I watch movies sometimes too, but not as much. Some movies are great, but I think that I identify with literature more--like an amputated version of cinema. . . of sorts.
Shortly after I ended up here, I requested Dalton Trumbo's Johnny Got His Gun. They tried to talk me out of reading it at first. "It will severly depress you." I knew what it was about. There was a reason that I chose to read it. And they couldn't have been more wrong. It actually uplifted me. It helped me to suss out some things that had been going through my head concerning my condition. And also it helped me to think that, while I have neither arms, legs, nor voice, at least I still have sight and sound and the many crutches that technology provides. Basically, at least I'm not as bad off as Joe.--I wonder how many people's spirits I raise on a daily basis? I'm a beacon of hope to women and children the world around--a shiny beacon, yet small and dull.
In case of emergencies, I can also communicate simple ideas by moving my mouth. As the common person is not a lip reader (and neither am I), it doesn't work very well for conversational purposes, but if I keep it slow and simple the basic idea can be communicated--hopefully. This idea helps me with my "walks."
As I stated earlier, I enjoy taking the wheelchair that I'm plopped into every day and breathing my way around the streets. The people here were very much against this at first, but I eventually convinced them of my need to actually fucking live, just a tiny bit. They mentioned the garden and its walkways again. I mentioned isolation and utter misery again. They suggested I be escorted, if not pushed around. I suggested being treated like a dog as little as humanly possible. And I did "choose" to be here and my mental powers have yet to be torn from me (although at times it seems like it would be much more convenient), so I was able to have another of the very few pleasure that I can get out of life. . . But I have it and I make do the best I can with it. Seeing people, breathing real air, moving. . .
Of course, I am limited to moving around the good parts of town, staying among larger groups of people and all. Yes, I enjoy freedom, but absolute freedom, of course, is a myth. Any freedom is subjected to certain bounds. Mine just happens to have a lot more than others'. I merely try to enjoy what little I have. It'd be ignorant to give it up for even less. I know what an easy target I am. A mouse won't climb into the nest of the owl (for an analogy). But I enjoy what little contact with the general public I can get. It's perhaps for the better that I can't get any more.
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[stopping here for now...i might just go to sleep since i have less than 8 hrs to sleep now...work in the morning...yay...but i'm getting caught up in this...hopefully my ideas won't diminish...and i hope even more that they're good in the first place...oh well...i've got where this is going to go mapped out pretty well...i thank everyone who's actually kept up thus far...]
Shortly after I ended up here, I requested Dalton Trumbo's Johnny Got His Gun. They tried to talk me out of reading it at first. "It will severly depress you." I knew what it was about. There was a reason that I chose to read it. And they couldn't have been more wrong. It actually uplifted me. It helped me to suss out some things that had been going through my head concerning my condition. And also it helped me to think that, while I have neither arms, legs, nor voice, at least I still have sight and sound and the many crutches that technology provides. Basically, at least I'm not as bad off as Joe.--I wonder how many people's spirits I raise on a daily basis? I'm a beacon of hope to women and children the world around--a shiny beacon, yet small and dull.
In case of emergencies, I can also communicate simple ideas by moving my mouth. As the common person is not a lip reader (and neither am I), it doesn't work very well for conversational purposes, but if I keep it slow and simple the basic idea can be communicated--hopefully. This idea helps me with my "walks."
As I stated earlier, I enjoy taking the wheelchair that I'm plopped into every day and breathing my way around the streets. The people here were very much against this at first, but I eventually convinced them of my need to actually fucking live, just a tiny bit. They mentioned the garden and its walkways again. I mentioned isolation and utter misery again. They suggested I be escorted, if not pushed around. I suggested being treated like a dog as little as humanly possible. And I did "choose" to be here and my mental powers have yet to be torn from me (although at times it seems like it would be much more convenient), so I was able to have another of the very few pleasure that I can get out of life. . . But I have it and I make do the best I can with it. Seeing people, breathing real air, moving. . .
Of course, I am limited to moving around the good parts of town, staying among larger groups of people and all. Yes, I enjoy freedom, but absolute freedom, of course, is a myth. Any freedom is subjected to certain bounds. Mine just happens to have a lot more than others'. I merely try to enjoy what little I have. It'd be ignorant to give it up for even less. I know what an easy target I am. A mouse won't climb into the nest of the owl (for an analogy). But I enjoy what little contact with the general public I can get. It's perhaps for the better that I can't get any more.
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[stopping here for now...i might just go to sleep since i have less than 8 hrs to sleep now...work in the morning...yay...but i'm getting caught up in this...hopefully my ideas won't diminish...and i hope even more that they're good in the first place...oh well...i've got where this is going to go mapped out pretty well...i thank everyone who's actually kept up thus far...]
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